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Acting Lessons Hot teen gets some cum in her wet horny mouth after some good anal sex My sexiest gameplay moments Part 6 11 min. Horny stepmom with a nice big ass gets her wet pussy fucked with a big cock l My sexiest gameplay moments l Milfy City l Part 39 16 min.

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Name: Phil
What is my age: 61
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Available to: Hetero
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Readers are understandably uncomfortable about these kinds of depictions of characters who are often depicted as or thought of as teenagers.

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I am, too and apologize. We can do better, and we will. The other day, I called my friend and asked her if she would be down to watch a bunch of video game porn with me so I could write about it. I am blessed to have the kind of friends who would not only say yes to this kind of thing, but would actively plan a beer-and-porn evening where I could also snuggle up with her gigantic fluffy beast of a dog. It was hilarious, and I wanted someone else to laugh at how bad it was.

Animated video game porn could be a lot sexier and less gross

Plus, my friend had been in porn herself, too. I wanted her expertise. And also to cuddle her dog.

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We began with some extremely terrible Harry Potter porn. My friend and I are both into Harry Potter, as much as you can be now that the author has turned out to be a trans-exclusionary feminist who clumsily retcons diversity into her work. There were four episodes, each centering on a different coupling, each using the low-poly models from, I would guess, one of the PlayStation 2 games. Most of them—for reasons only the creator can know—involved Crabbe. Or Goyle.

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Hermione and Crabbe met up in the Gryffindor common room which is unlikely, as Crabbe would need the password and then had sex on the sofa in front of the fire. In another scene, Draco rimmed Cho Chang in the hospital while Ron and Hermione had a cheeky shag next door which seems logistically unlikely, not to mention unhygienic.

All the while, Cho and Hermione lay fully naked on top of their bedsheets, and at the end Harry transformed into Draco and looked right at the camera.

If anyone actually manages to find any of that sexy, I take my hat off to them. Especially as none of the female models had clitorises. Then, we found some Zelda porn.

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Link is pretty sexy with his clothes on, after all. The first scene we saw was Link and Mipha, which is a pretty obvious pairing, although I now know that Mipha has nipples and a gag reflex.

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While Link and Mipha were making tadpoles, Zelda was having sex with Bokoblins. As you do.

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In a surprisingly accurate treatment of the source material, however, Zelda is pictured wearing the Bokoblin mask, which makes the little creeps accept you as one of their own. Hence, the sex. She even attempts to give head to the Moblins, the ten-foot-tall enemies from the game, apparently with dicks to match.

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It was only a nightmare! A weirdly specific nightmare! The first scene was between Jessie, Ash, and Pikachu who had a human penis. It was boring.

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The second was between Misty, Hypno, and Lickitung. It was horrifying.

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At one point, Misty I know people want to have sex with video game characters. The ingredients are all there, but the cake is still a lie.

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Also, like. Or, like: why are we surprised that free porn on the internet that is mostly done as a hobby does not have stellar writing or set-ups, when these clips are usually within the range of seconds long? The A. By Kate Gray.

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